I recently came across some points on making marriage work. There are so many aspects to successful marriage but I like the idea of summing up bullet points even if it is over simplified. Here is my list of 50 points that have worked for me in my marriage. Feel free to add to any you think have been helpful in your marriage!
1. Pray together always. A family that prays together stays together.
2. Share the scriptures or books on your values often.
3. Communicate with “I feel” rather than “You make me feel”
4. Plan regular date nights. (I am grateful for a built in baby sitter for mine)
5. Renew your vows daily by always stating what you are committed to in the relationship. (My favorite: “I will always love you!”)
6. Go to bed at the same time and never angry. When its my night with Joe I make sure we coordinate our time for bed together.
7. Praise your spouse(s) in front of other people. (Leave the negative for private discussion)
8. Buy each other gifts that are personal.
9. Get an away vacation together at least once a year.
10. Listen for your spouse and not just to them. (This means to seek first to understand and then to be understood by listening to the message behind the message.)
11. Have pictures of the two of you in your bedroom. Your bedroom should be about the two of you.
12. Exercise together. Your health is to be celebrated together.
13. Cook a meal unexpectedly for each other.
14. Eat regularly together. (With the cell phone off). We have breakfast and dinner each day together when we can.
15. Do chores for each other.
16. Make your spouses’ dreams your dreams and your dreams theirs.
17. Write frequent love notes.
18. Learn new things together on a regular basis. Marriage is about discovery of your self through someone else, which is the only true way we get access to ourselves.
19. Share a kiss every day. Make up for any days missed because of travel, etc.
20. Thank your spouse often, even for the trivial. Your thank you’s should be more plentiful than your requests.
21. Compliment your spouse frequently.
22. Post a Facebook message on the wall/or a public note on the fridge about your spouse.
23. Share the joys of your children together, or your vision of children you are to have.
24. Understand yours spouses’ parents and encourage them to find healing and completion, for often the source of blockage in the marriage has its roots there
25. Be 100% responsible for the relationship.
26. Plan your budget together. It’s not about the money it’s about the shared values.
27. Laugh together.
28. Be vulnerable.
29. Read relationship books together.
30. Look your best as often as you can.
31. Make sex a priority.
32. Spend time apart occasionally.
33. Meet him at the door or as soon as he comes home.
34. Surprise each other, (men love spontaneity)
35. Text each other from across the room.
36. Set reminders in your phone to remember him throughout the week.
37. Call him and tell him how much you appreciate him.
38. Learn to enjoy something he loves (even if its sports).
39. Make his favorite dessert.
40. Make time for healthy female relationships that support your marriage.
41. Come home early from work and surprise her.
42. Engage in a meaningful conversation about her feelings every day.
43. Make one day a month her total focus.
44. Avoid the words “you always” or “you never”.
45. Kiss every day.
46. Learn to cuddle and hold her without sex.
47. Forgive quickly.
48. Be honest.
49. Plan your budget together.
50. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it.