A Gay Mormon Happily Married

We recently came across this post by a Gay Mormon who is happily married with children he says, Josh Weed is his name and he has a long post you can read on his website. This fascinated me, as a Mormon (with the Fundamentalist label) I have struggled with the moral ramifications of homosexuality, and yet as someone in an “alternative lifestyle” myself, I understand the importance of allowing everyone the opportunity to love who they want to love and be true to who they are. I have very good friends who are gay and I certainly don’t judge them, in fact I believe they are some of the best people I know. I guess I am on a journey and am comfortable to identify what I know and what I don’t know. What I know is that I am to love my neighbor as myself, something I struggle every day with.

This post is certainly not the “solution” but an interesting take that I have never seen before, I am interested in your thoughts?

A portion of it is here:

This is the post where I tell you that I, Josh Weed, am homosexual.

When my wife Lolly and I do tell people about this—and we’ve been telling a lot of people lately, so we’ve gotten really practiced at it—they usually have a lot of really good, genuine questions. Here are some of the questions we’re most frequently asked (there really should be an acronym for that—I know! I’ll call it a FAQ!). We hope answering these questions will help you understand how we make sense of this delicate and complicated issue in our lives.

What do you mean when you say you’re “gay”?

When I say I am gay or homosexual or same-sex attracted (and I use these terms interchangeably, which is a personal decision) I refer specifically to sexual orientation. I am sexually attracted to men. I am not sexually attracted to women. It is very simple. I have many, many years of experience which confirm this to be true, but it’s really as simple as what a girl asked me in junior high—and I’m sorry if this is a little blunt, but I’ve never found a question that cuts to the heart of the matter more effectively—”so, if everyone in this room took off their clothes, would you be turned on by the girls or the guys?” My answer, which I didn’t say out loud, was unquestionably the guys. And it was unquestionably not the girls. And that still is my answer. It’s really not very complicated. Most people just don’t think about their sexual orientation because they don’t have any reason to.

Why have you decided to share this information?

We have several reasons for opening up about this part of our lives. First and foremost, my clinical work as a therapist is taking me in the direction of helping clients who struggle to reconcile their sexual orientation with their religious beliefs. I have decided to be open with these clients about my own homosexuality, and in doing so have opened the door to people finding out about this in ways I can’t control. The second reason is that the issue of homosexuality is not very well understood. We wanted to add our voice and experience to the dialogue taking place about this very sensitive issue. Thirdly, I feel the desire to be more open regarding this part of my identity. I have found that sharing this part of me allows my relationships with others to be more authentic. It has deepened my friendships and enhanced my interactions, and it has also helped me to feel more accepted by others as it allows others the opportunity to choose to accept me for who I really am.

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5 Responses to A Gay Mormon Happily Married

  1. S. says:

    I relate very well to this entry–I am also homosexual in my sexual orientation but I choose to be in a heterosexual relationship. Am I physically attracted to women MUCH more than men? Yes. But due to a variety of reasons, I have decided to be in a relationship with a man. It is a hard concept for people to understand…gay people often tell me that I am denying my true sexual orientation/identity and straight people often tell me that I am not “really” attracted to women and am actually straight….it is frustrating. The bottom line is that WHATEVER my sexual orientation may be, how I live my life is what matters…and I live it in a honest, peaceful way that I believe God would endorse…and I believe He would endorse my life even if I did choose to be with a woman–as long as I was living my life in a honest way that was uplifting to others.

  2. Rella Vaughn says:

    I know some poly people who should be willing to allow their(my) family the oportunity to accept them for who they r & love everyone in their family. Thank you for this wonderful insight.

  3. Paweł Szulik says:

    I admire this man and have much respect for him. Why? Because his live and behaviour is consistend with what he believes. I haven’t read the whole Book of Mormon yet (I’ve read about 80% of it) and I haven’t looked for any information about it’s position concerning homosexuality, but I know Mormons believe also in a Bible. I’ve read the Bible many times through, studied it for many years and I know that the Bible strictly prohibits male homosexuality. Mr Josh Weed, as a Mormon, knows that his homosexuality shouldn’t be put into practive, because it contradicts with what he believes. Many gays try to twist the Bible as if it says male homosexuality is OK, but it isn’t true. He tries his best to please God of the Bible despite the fact that it has to be very very hard for him. And that’s why I respect this man, pray for him and wish him the best. He is a very strong, believing man. Of course I don’t judge male homosexuals who practice their sexuality with men. I can’t do it, since I am a mere man like them. I only say that the Bible strictly condems male homosexuality.

    Some time ago I made a Bible research on how God views homosexuality. And, to my great astonishment, it turned out that the Bible prohibits only male homosexuality. It doesn’t prohibit female homosexuality. I would write much about it here and wouldn’t go into detail, because it is not a place for it.

  4. S. says:

    I have thought about this blog post for several days now and finally decided to come back and comment again…Joe, you mention that you have a hard time balancing your beliefs about the moral ramifications of homosexuality with the knowledge that you are led to not judge others and treat others as you treat yourself. May I ask, with all your children the statistical likelihood that at least one with be homosexual is high, knowing that how do you and your wives plan to handle this when the time comes from one of your sons or daughters to reveal him/herself as a gay person? Will he/she be welcomed into your home as he/she is? Will their same-sex partners? What will you teach your other children about their gay sibling??

    • Joe says:

      Thoughtful questions. I don’t typically answer hypothetical questions because to tell you the truth I don’t know what I would do in that or any situation until I am faced with it. However, I will share my overriding principles that I subscribe to. My children, whomever they choose to love, or whatever faith they ascribe will have my unconditional love. Love is at its core about acceptance, for what someone is as well as what someone is not. This does not mean I will condone, agree with or justify, it simply means it is not for me to make my children right or wrong, but as a parent to be there as a source of love and inspiration. We are fine when people make value judgments about us, but that does not mean they should judge our hearts or condemn us as people. The only time we should intervene in someone’s agency is when it interferes with or harms the innocent. I can answer this with assurance because as parents we have faced it. Our older children have chosen paths in their faith and relationships that we don’t always agree with, but we love them no less than we always have. We are currently planning a wedding that celebrates that love and acceptance.

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