Getting Back To Center

As my teenagers would say, “I just got told!”

I’ve been reading the many comments (both kind and truthful) posted regarding my little pity party. Boy, do I feel sheepish. I so appreciate all the love and support  that everyone has poured out upon me and I do see the error in my thinking. I  have so very much to be grateful for every day that I live and breathe.  For the very fact that I live and breathe. Please, everyone, consider me humbled and contrite.

I will say though, that I felt better just gettting my feelings out. I often turn to writing when it comes to processing my feelings. I highly recommend it. In my previous marriage, there were so many situations that I would try to make sense of. I would turn to my trusty notebook, pen in hand and write it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. It was so helpful when I didn’t feel I had anyone else to talk to. For any of you reading this that have not read our book I will tell a little about that situation.

Notebooks

A stack of my old used notebooks

I was living in a place that I call “the middle of everywhere”. It was two hours to the nearest town in any given direction, most of the travel being on a dirt road. We had limited phone service and no internet. I was in a plural marriage that was going downhill fast. We weren’t being provided for physically or emotionally and I didn’t know what I could do to “fix” it. I was barely coping.  My sisters and I would write letters back and forth which was really nice but I didn’t always know what to do when I needed a listening ear. My sister Bonnie suggested that I write my feelings down when I was feeling emotional and powerless.

It turned out to be such helpful advice. I started writing and that notebook became like a friend to me. It just listened and never judged. It helped me sort through my feelings. It somehow validated me. I know it sounds silly to even speak about a notebook this way. Nowadays I rarely have a need to put things down on paper that way. But, obviously I traded the notebook for the laptop and used this website as my sounding board to get my feelings out.

So, again, I thank you for listening (reading), for helping me sort through my feelings. As I said, it’s very humbling-which is exactly what I needed!

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7 Responses to Getting Back To Center

  1. Marsa McCool-Solis of Ourazfamily says:

    I’m exactly the same way, I write to get my feelings out. I started it doing it as a child. When my Mom remarried and we moved away from family and friends. My saving grace during some of the hardest times of my life have been my notebooks. Especially when I was a young military wife with a baby whose husband deployed with less than 24 hours notice. I didn’t want our letters to be filled of the ‘hard stuff’ I was going through without him. I wanted them to be an inspiration and when he came home, he asked to read them. Which helped him understand my experience while he was at war and brought us closer together. But it kept him from worrying as much about me if I had written him some of those things while he was gone. I wanted him to focus on coming home safe, not on what I was going through without him. I think writing can be like therapy, I also have a prayer journal notebook that I use for the prayer requests, the tough times and of course all the blessings I am grateful for everyday.

    Hugs and Prayers to all of you, Marsa

  2. Hellokitty26@gmail.com says:

    I understand the need to journal. I agreed with your description 100%. It’s amazing how bound sheets of paper can become your best friend. I don’t always get blogging. Especially this kind of journal blogging where people can come and judge you (in that way your notebook never did). I’m sure you have a private stash though (as any journal keeper does). I hope your humbling wasn’t judgment

  3. Journal keeper says:

    I understand the need to journal. I agreed with your description 100%. It’s amazing how bound sheets of paper can become your best friend. I don’t always get blogging. Especially this kind of journal blogging where people can come and judge you (in that way your notebook never did). I’m sure you have a private stash though (as any journal keeper does). I hope your humbling wasn’t judgment

  4. Paweł Szulik says:

    I do the same, but instead of paper notebook I use my computer. The reason is very simple – it’s easier for me to type than to write :)

    I agree 100% with Valerie in that writing your feelings and thoughts down help to cope with them. How? When they’re written you can then look at them from a better perpective. Next thing I like in having a journal is that when bad time passes, you can look at your written down feelings and try to understand them using your reason, which can help you to cope with the same feelings in the future.

  5. Tracy Roth-Myers says:

    I have had those been there done that myself moments here lately so I understand and I find it good to vent and get it off my mind too! I just hope that you are feeling better and living well. Please take care, you have a wonderful family that loves and supports you and kids too who love you! All of my thoughts and prayers go out to you Mrs. Darger. P.S. The journaling is a great thing and a healthy release.
    Yours respectfully, Tracy Roth-Myers.

  6. Ellen says:

    I understand it also When I was eleven I got a diary.
    I even named it Anne after Anne Frank

  7. Liz M. says:

    The downside of switching to a computer, is that your kids won’t have the old notebooks and diaries to read and treasure when you’re gone.

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