As my teenagers would say, “I just got told!”
I’ve been reading the many comments (both kind and truthful) posted regarding my little pity party. Boy, do I feel sheepish. I so appreciate all the love and support that everyone has poured out upon me and I do see the error in my thinking. I have so very much to be grateful for every day that I live and breathe. For the very fact that I live and breathe. Please, everyone, consider me humbled and contrite.
I will say though, that I felt better just gettting my feelings out. I often turn to writing when it comes to processing my feelings. I highly recommend it. In my previous marriage, there were so many situations that I would try to make sense of. I would turn to my trusty notebook, pen in hand and write it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. It was so helpful when I didn’t feel I had anyone else to talk to. For any of you reading this that have not read our book I will tell a little about that situation.
I was living in a place that I call “the middle of everywhere”. It was two hours to the nearest town in any given direction, most of the travel being on a dirt road. We had limited phone service and no internet. I was in a plural marriage that was going downhill fast. We weren’t being provided for physically or emotionally and I didn’t know what I could do to “fix” it. I was barely coping. My sisters and I would write letters back and forth which was really nice but I didn’t always know what to do when I needed a listening ear. My sister Bonnie suggested that I write my feelings down when I was feeling emotional and powerless.
It turned out to be such helpful advice. I started writing and that notebook became like a friend to me. It just listened and never judged. It helped me sort through my feelings. It somehow validated me. I know it sounds silly to even speak about a notebook this way. Nowadays I rarely have a need to put things down on paper that way. But, obviously I traded the notebook for the laptop and used this website as my sounding board to get my feelings out.
So, again, I thank you for listening (reading), for helping me sort through my feelings. As I said, it’s very humbling-which is exactly what I needed!