Good Conversations

With nine adults and a plethora of kids running around between two beach condos, there was always flurry of activity. Yet somehow, we adults were able to find the time and space to gather together for some good conversations. Some were with cameras rolling, while others were more relaxed, but all of them were very enjoyable.

They showed so little on ¬†Sisterwives, compared to the variety of things we talked about. Eventually the subject came up of whether or not to share a kitchen. Which really means, whether or not to live all together, it’s just that the kitchen seems to end up being the topic of that discussion.

We met the Browns when they lived under one roof together, which I thought was ideal for them. So it is hard for me to see them living apart from one another. I like the fact that they are building their homes in close proximity to one another.

Every plural family does it differently, and in fact in my 12 plus 12 years of living plural marriage I have experienced living all together, and living separately. It was completely arbitrary to whatever worked best for the situation of the family at the time.


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10 Responses to Good Conversations

  1. Michelle says:

    This is the first time I’ve read this blog. In fact, that episode of Sister Wives, is the first time I’ve ever seen the show (and the only so far). I’ve never taken issue with plural marriage. I have thought about the lack of role models for alternative living arrangements, generally, within the United States. I never have thought that monogamous couples could learn from polygamous families, until this episode. I am amazed at the love and kindness, and respect, with which two very different families approached your differences. And the self-awareness it takes to make the one kitchen work, and the self-awareness it takes to realize when it doesn’t, is remarkable. I only hope that the both of us in my monogamous relationship can continue to be honest and self-aware, and truly kind even as we get into the deeper aspects of our life together.

    • Joe says:

      Thank you for sharing. We hope that families and relationships can be inspired everywhere. At the end of the day we are more the same than we are all ever really different.

  2. Linda says:

    I have been watching Sister Wives since the beginning. My interest in the lifestyle became heightened while watching the show Big Love. I’ve always felt an overwhelming feeling of selfishness from the Browns. And know matter what my husband saw, he would always say the same thing, that Kody just wants his cake and eat it too.

    When we watched the episode with the Dargers, both of us looked at each other and said that seems more as it should be. Your family is loving, organized and respectful. I could feel the love and respect. We are only one man, one woman, and 5 children. However our house does not run much differently. We communicate, compromise and respect each other. And my husband is the king of the house and family as it should be.

    I commend your family an I feel previlaged to have gotten a look into such a happy, loving, amazing family!

    • Joe says:

      Thank you, we feel those things are important. We do know that it takes all kinds of families that can work and we certainly got to see the love of the Brown family as well. We know that families take a lot of work and need nurturing everywhere, no matter how many parents there are.

  3. Chris Nystrom says:

    I guess it is a good lesson that every family needs to find out what works for them and not worry so much about what other people think or do.

  4. linda says:

    I admire your family as well as the Browns. although I am not Mormon, some yrs ago my husband(now husband) and I made a decision to add another wife into our family of five. the situation proved to be disastrous as I think my husband was not disciplined enough or mature to accept that type of responsibility. we ended up divorcing and he and the woman are now together with three children. I thought when we were together that things would work out, she had two children already and we had our family of 8 for 5 yrs before the jealousy, insecurity, and arguments became too much. I applaud you guys on your loving family, and encourage you to continue in your beautiful marriage. May God bless each one of you and your children!

  5. Kim Nash says:

    Loved the show and looking foward to seeing the show about your family on the 18th.

    Tell us more about the mission statement…it sounds like a wonderful idea.

    Love your family and wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!

    Kim Nash

  6. Melly Ann says:

    I read your book and couldn’t put it down, and I really enjoy the Sister Wives. To me, your family structures (at first) seemed so different and foreign to everything we’re supposedly used to. But really, that’s crazy. We don’t have a set scale for normal, there are SO many different types of families – all doing what works best for their family! The REAL thing that stands out is the level of love and commitment your family (and the Browns, too) demonstrates. It’s beautiful and to be applauded. There are countless “normal” and “acceptable” families that fall apart everyday, before they have a chance to really begin.
    I hope you and your wonderfully huge family have a very Merry Christmas.

  7. denise says:

    I am reading your book and enjoying it very much. I am not Mormon, I am a Christian. And I do not take issue with your living arrangements although you do keep making references to the old testament concerning plural marriages. We are under the New Covenant not the Old. Also in the book Joe says he teaches, principles of the gospel. I was offended by that to the core of my being…..if you consider yourself christian there is but one gospel and that is the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God in the flesh! I tell you this not to rebuke you or to be mean. This is only out of love for you all.

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