Mom To Be At 43! Part One

 

It’s been a big year for me as a mother.

Caleb, 22, announced this spring he had decided to go on a two-year service mission for the LDS Church, which he joined a year ago. He is going to Taiwan!

Liesl, 17, graduated from high school and will go away to college in the fall.

Logan, 15, got his learner permit and will soon be getting his drivers license.

Boston, 5, starts kindergarten in the fall.

I finally potty trained Victoria, 3, which was no small task!

And there is this: I am expecting.

Did you guess right?!

If you’ve read Love Times Three, you know that I have always wanted 10 children. This will be number 9 for me. It’s a huge decision to have a baby—not one that I take lightly, especially at age 43.

We generated quite a bit of controversy among our followers a while ago by asking people’s views on whether there is a point in life when a woman is too old to have a baby. Even professionals disagree about how old is too old to have a healthy pregnancy.

I had a miscarriage last September, which brought the issue home for me. I had to take time to heal physically and then emotionally. I had to work to put a lot of fear—that it might happen again, that I would never have another child, that I might experience complications with the pregnancy, labor and delivery, or the baby’s health—behind me.

I kept telling myself I was being silly because those complications are always a possibility with a pregnancy, not matter what your age, and that I shouldn’t let fear stop me from going ahead with something I felt so strongly about.

Believe me, it is easy to let other thoughts and feelings override that motherly instinct. All the cares and worries of the world are considered reasonable excuses not to, but I thought of the joy that each and every one of my children have brought me, the wealth of experience and fulfillment I have had with each of them.

I put a lot of careful thought and prayer into my decision.

In our family, it is up to each woman to decide first and foremost when and if to have another child. But the financial burden and commitment to raising a child is a shared responsibility, something I would not and could not take on alone, especially given the needs and obligations we already have.

I shared my desire for another child with Joe, Alina and Val, and their support and love confirmed what I felt in my heart. Their unwavering commitment made it not just easier to make a decision, but almost destined to be.

Ultimately, a deep knowing came over me, a conviction I can’t quite point to or explain, a true sense of peace.

It is the right time for me to have another baby.

 

 

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36 Responses to Mom To Be At 43! Part One

  1. Vicky says:

    Congratulations!

  2. Kari Kirkland says:

    I am so excited! #1 I picked the correct person. From reading and watching you guys in the media, I just had a feeling ;) #2 it is time when God allows your body to carry a baby. If your body is able to produce and carry, then it shall! I am VERY happy for you guys and REALLY HOPE you blog a lot so we can watch this journey with your guys. It’s funny when I am at home with my kids and family and say “Joe’s wife is pregnant…..can you guess which wife…” and they start to guess….that means I talk a little too much about you guys!

  3. Natja says:

    Many congratulations Vicki!!! I just had my second daughter after a 16 year gap!!!!
    I couldn’t believe how much more fuss there is now than there was then now that I am in my late thirties, however I had a healthier pregnancy than my first! I would love to have another baby being an older mother is great!

    • Marie Nadine says:

      Jah love Natja. Wow! I had my youngest about a month shy of 39. Cingrats again. Looking forward to your blog posts. Blessed love..

    • Vicki says:

      From my first baby to this one it will be 22-1/2 years, that is kind of a long time! My last 2 were harder on my body, but those kids make me smile everyday! Thank you! I love being a mother, and having lots of experience I think I love it even more!

  4. Lydia says:

    Congratulations!

    I hope you’ll share pictures of the baby when he or she arrives. :)

  5. jordan says:

    Congrats to you and your awesome family!

  6. Amy says:

    Congratulations! At 41 I often wish I could have more. The thoughts of Foster/Adoption is heavy on my mind and people tell me why would you want to start again when you’re kids are almost all grown. The love and desire to raise righteous children is a beautiful thing. So happy for you and your beautiful family!

    • Vicki says:

      Many people give advice, and it can be good advice. I listen to them, thank them for sharing and caring, and ultimately make my own choices. It is wonderful to have the support of family and friends. It is a lot of work to have and raise children, and the blessings, fulfillment and joy far outweigh the hardship for me!

  7. Kendra Parra says:

    I am a Mom of eight and want twoi more – so happy for you :)

  8. linda hatfield-southern says:

    I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I have had 3 , but Isabel was my #3 daughter @37. Take care of your self. Do you use a midwife with your deliveries?

    • Vicki says:

      Thank you, I appreciate it coming from someone who has been through it. I am sorry for your loss as well, and happy you were able to have the 3! I learned much from the experience.
      In our family we have had home births with midwives, as well as hospital deliveries.

  9. Michelle says:

    I believe that God gives each of us, that will listen, the voice of the Holy Spirit to minister to us about what is best for us and our health. Follow that voice and you can’t go wrong. Congrats and Best Wishes to you and your family.

  10. Tamblina D says:

    Vicki, Congrats on the pregnany! I’m praying for you to have a healthly baby! Babies are such blessing! YAY!

    By the way, your shoes are fabulous!

    • Vicki says:

      Thank you for your prayers! Can never have too many of those. And the shoe compliment, I got them at a second-hand store. I may not be able to wear them for too much longer as I get further along :)

  11. Ashley says:

    Congrats Vicki

    Happy to hear this pregnancy is going good. Prayers for you and your family on a smooth pregnancy. God has blessed y’all with another miracle. My family is very happy for yours. Congrats again.

    Ashley

  12. Jennifer says:

    Congratulations Vicki! My mom had me at 45 and she said is was her easiest pregnancy! I look forward to hearing more about your journey! God Bless!

  13. Amanda Crandall says:

    So happy for you and your entire family… Age does not matter unless you are cheese! Any child will be blessed and fortunate to be in your family… Congrats to all of the new parents!

  14. Angel says:

    Wow that is so fantastic! Congrats!!!! So happy for you!!!

  15. Marie Nadine says:

    Jah love Vicky. Congratulations to you and the whole family. You look great. I had my youngest daughter, 6 years ago, I was a month shy of my 39 birthday. So, I prat your pregnancy at 43 goes well. Blesssd love.c

    • Vicki says:

      Thank you! We are excited about this new edition, almost like it was our first! It is fun to have so many others looking forward to it and see the kids with their questions and perspectives as well.

      • Jennifer Isherwood says:

        I had a little giggle about your “new edition”, its the latest Darger Publication coming soon! :) Sorry, but it made me smile.

  16. Alisha Darcy says:

    Congratulations! Best wishes!!

  17. linda hatfield-southern says:

    Having a large family is easier in polygamous families, especially egalitarian ones like yours

  18. Dawn Spencer says:

    Vicki,

    Congrats to you and Joe. I know that any decision by a loving family to bring a child into this has to be done with pray and guidance with our heavenly father! He knows you will love and care for this child like you have the others! Hope you have a continued great pregnancy and God Bless!

  19. Alice says:

    I had four children and then 2 miscarriages. I delivered a healthy girl at age 42. She was my easiest C-section recovery and my easiest post partum recovery. So happy for you!
    Praying you have a healthy and blessed pregnancy!

  20. nicole Coley says:

    hi,i literally just watched your video and i think that it is extraordinary that a family like that gets along so well,with one husband and three wives, so i hope that this continues to go well for you guys.

  21. Garett says:

    Congrats. The thought of me being a new Dad now when I’m weeks away from turning 40 would put me in the hospital. Good Luck Joe your a better man than I am, lol.
    I watched your guys interviews and I find some of the questions that get handed to you guys a bit amusing. I would think people would ask better ones like ” How does Joe get free time”? “How does he deal with multiple father in laws”? “How does he stay health with all those kids bring all there school yuck home”? These seem more amazing feat which in my opinion makes him my new hero.

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