Mr. Mom! A Polygamous Dad’s Journal Part 2

This is Part 2 of a four part day by day Diary of last week while my wives were on a “Girl Trip” in Montana for four days.

Friday, August 2

Today was the first day of Kindergarten for Boston. His school delays the start for the youngest students from the rest of the grades. He was so excited! First thing, Boston let me know he had his outfit all planned out. I arranged for a neighbor, whose daughter is in the same kindergarten class, to take him to school. Boston asked me three times to go next door to see if they were ready to go.

I’ve been up for hours, and worked out alone this morning. The sense of loneliness kept coming up, so I was glad for the hustle and bustle of the morning. The kids are still not used to getting up this early and the drama the night before had them all up too late. My oldest teenagers still live at home, but they all have jobs. Thank goodness for Liesl, who doesn’t work until evening. She and Maddy helped do the little girls’ hair — otherwise, they would have arrived at school looking like orphans!

I usually have a protein shake for breakfast every morning. I just supersized it  — kale, blueberries, bananas, coconut oil, substituted a little cream and milk for the almond milk I usually use — and that was their breakfast-to-go this morning. I put six cups on the counter and kissed each of the children good-bye as they each grabbed one their way out the door. Success! They loved it.

Then it was just Maddy, the two youngest girls and me. Maddy is on traditional year around school and I have been so grateful for her being off. The house was eerily quiet. I went to my office to work on some bids and answer email. I can’t believe how lonely I start feeling again. I realized that I am always surrounded by people and by love. I decided to call a few friends and see if anyone had time for lunch. No one was available.

For some hours, the house is calm. Then the afternoon rush as the children arrived home from school. Our city has a cinema in the park every week and tonight it is Rise of the Guardians. I had Maddy make a rice casserole for the kids, while I cooked some salmon for me (part of my diet). The kids are not used to having me follow up to see that they finish their after-dinner jobs and I can tell the moms have been lax. I believe it’s easier to motivate people positively than negatively, so I told the kids that if they finished their jobs in time they could go with me. Otherwise, they would stay home with their older brothers.

When it was time to go, there were 14 of us. We popped enough popcorn to fill a garbage bag and I filled a thermos with ice water. We loaded lawn chairs and blankets into two vans and I drove one while Liesl drove the other. It was time to invade the city park!

Most families there had a mom, dad and two or three kids. It was quite a spectacle when I showed up with my entourage. A while ago, that would have been a little embarrassing. Now, I don’t worry.

A lot of people around town recognize me anyway. I am proud of my kids and how well behaved they are in public, which draws as much attention as anything.

It was amazing how many other plural families I saw at the park. Only one was recognizable as a plural family. The others looked like single moms with a bunch of kids.

We live in a very white, upscale and predominately Mormon suburb. Polygamous people are probably the biggest minority in this part of the valley. That is not to say there are not a lot of people of different racial, ethnic and religious backgrounds; they are all well received. I like that I feel part of the community, rather than living in a community that I cannot be part of the way so many polygamous people do.

In the end, I am glad my kids are learning to part of a larger community. I grew up with such fear that we did not always feel connected to the those around us.  I went to bed satisfied, but very tired. I am glad this is a short term arrangement.

This entry was posted in Children, Daily Routine, Family, Parenting, Polygamy, Random Thoughts, Recreation, Time Alone. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Mr. Mom! A Polygamous Dad’s Journal Part 2

  1. Kari Kirkland says:

    I love that you follow up behind the chores. My husband and I just discussed that we need to start some more follow up because they are slacking {probably from the summer boredom?} but we start school August 26th and we will be making sure that we are back on track.

  2. Heather says:

    You rock papa Joe! Doing a great job while Alina, Vicki, and Valerie are away.
    Love the book and blog! And totally support and understand y’all not doing a show.

  3. Chris Nystrom says:

    I take it that since you only posted 2 of the 4 days and then nothing that you did not survive the experience.

  4. Bear says:

    Hi Joe!

    Interesting lifestyle, bro. BTW, I don’t think big brother government should be in the marriage business anyhow so more power to you. I lost my wife to cancer in 2005 but if I ever get married again it will be just us and a priest/preacher under the stars.

    Peace ~ Bear

  5. Bear says:

    BTW, my late wife worked with a guy with two wives but I am not sure if he was a fundamentalist Mormon since this was in NJ.

    Peace ~ Bear

  6. Johnnomads says:

    I doubt it ended badly, Joe is a master of time management and caring Dad. He probably ran out of hours and just didn’t have time to blog.

  7. charity says:

    You mentioned that you were lonely b/c you were used to being around people you loved…but what about your kids. Were they not around you?
    I just wonder…perhaps you base your “sense of being grounded” on the companionship of a woman?

    I dunno.

    I also saw that you mentioned that you live in a mostly white community – a far cry from where I live, though I am white myself. lol Are black people allowed to be polygamists? What if there was a white couple and wanted to marry a black person? Is that allowed in your religion. It’s funny b/c I was thinking about that very scenario this afternoon…and then read your blog tonight…so I thought I’d ask. :)
    I don’t care either way, but just wondered what the doctrine was.

    Do most polygamists in your community live in the same house like you do?

    Which bed do you consider “yours”?… or are they all your wives’ beds that you share? Does that make sense?

    Also…thank you for not editing your blog comments…it shows how open-minded you are and I appreciate that. :)

  8. Charles Manson says:

    You sick pig. Brain washing these poor women. Un real.

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