On Being A Watchful (And Prayerful) Mother

Vicki And ToriIt has been four months since Tori’s accident, and I still have a hard time leaving her in the hands of even the most capable babysitter.

She is a year old and I usually feel comfortable leaving my youngest for a couple of hours, if necessary, at this age so what’s wrong with me? I have never been a hovering parent, but I am starting to become just that — fearful there is another accident lurking around every corner and have to stay close by so I can protect her from all harm. Even when Tori sleeps I find myself checking on her incessantly.

I can’t easily carry her on my hip every waking minute. In addition to being very tiresome and impossible to do while cooking and cleaning, etc., I believe in letting babies crawl, explore and experience the world at their pace and from their ground level view. And sometimes that means they experience cause and effect, even unexpected surprises or bit of an owie, such as occurs from falling from a standing up position next to the couch onto a soft carpeted floor.

I have always been somewhat of a prayerful parent, too, but now these on-the-run prayers are much more diligent and meaningful. So far, Tori has had a few minor bumps and such, but it doesn’t stop her from trying again. I think sometimes the adage about getting back on the horse that just bucked you off came from watching babies. Tori is doing fine.

As for me, those little prayers have helped me to get some peace again and feel like I can be a normal and good mother instead of an overly paranoid one.

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