I wanted to update everyone on our family Christmas. Many of you have not had a chance to meet these other family members. When we filmed our My Three Wives documentary for TLC we actually captured the birth of our grandson and introduced some of the people. When the wedding came up the time really had to be focused on it instead. We thought we would write a bit of an update about Rob and Amanda since so many people got introduced to them on the show.
The editing of the show and what it conveyed while accurate certainly did not capture the dynamic of the relationship. Amanda and I had become very close before she left for college. It was a difficult thing letting her move out because of that closeness. When the relationship with Rob began to develop she was afraid to say anything because she did not want to disappoint me. I think she felt like she was betraying me by falling in love and him not being the same faith.
Rob on his part had fears in his past that he was projecting on to us. He did not believe we would be so accepting, and Amanda reinforced those fears. He felt loyal to his community and was trying to balance out the expectations of his community and Amanda’s family. It was not what we planned on filming when we began the special but as we were filming it all transpired. It was hurtful to hear about the engagement and then to find out we would not be part of the wedding. It was challenging to find out that she was joining a faith that we did not agree with, even though it is a polygamous community.
I find it interesting that people want us to give our kids choice but then are alarmed when they marry young or marry into a polygamous community. What we learned and we hoped to share with the world by filming is that if we had focused on the hurts from our point of view, while we would have been justified, we would not have had the wedding or the relationship with our daughter. People want to know if we give our kids choice, and this case challenged us but in the end we are glad we do and did. The wedding turned out well, and on Christmas we were all here celebrating love and family together. Rob has already grown in his closeness to us and understands how much love is there for him and that he can be part of this family while still having his own family.
When we stand in love as a family we find that many people are attracted from all over to spend time here. We have had an amazing Christmas season. This Christmas Eve we had all of our 23 children, in addition to Rob and Amanda, we had Laura, our new grandson Asher, her husband Taylor and four of his family members up from Mexico to celebrate with us. We also had Joseph’s girlfriend Whitney spend her first Christmas with us. Sam came up from Gunnison, and Caleb was up from Provo.We also had my sister Rachel and brother-in-law Ryan and their seven kids. Altogether we had 44 of us for the holidays.
We typically do a formal dinner with everyone. We did a plaid and lace theme for the decor and a fancy seven course meal. It was a nice way to share in food, song and love with one another. On Christmas Eve we took the older kids to the Hobbit, its a tradition to go to a movie on Christmas Eve. We then came back for games, songs and our other holiday traditions.
We thank everyone for their warm support and pray that everyone can have a Happy New Year. It is our wish that 2013 brings the world closer together. Our commitment is that as our kids grow and expand our family that we can be a stand for love and a foundation for them making a difference in the world.