The Ultrasound

I was out with my sister wives a while ago perusing yard sales and we kept finding adorable baby items. Problem: At that point, I didn’t know if I am having a boy or a girl. Not wanting to spend money on things I possibly wouldn’t use, I passed up all the great finds. I was about 10 weeks along then and couldn’t wait for the next eight weeks to pass so I would know: boy or girl?

With my first six children, I never found out their gender ahead of time. It was always a surprise and I liked it that way. I had my guesses, Joe had his guesses. I thought Caleb was a girl, and then I thought he was a boy, and then  I thought girl again, but that was my first go at it so I chalked it up to inexperience.

My next five my guesses were spot on. It was just a sense of knowingness. When I was expecting Tavish, my fifth child, I thought he was a girl for the first seven months. I think Joe agreed with me, or at least went along with my feelings. I then had a very spiritual experience.  We were in one of our Sunday gatherings, and as we ended with prayer I got a strong impression the baby was telling me he was a boy. I went to Joe right after the meeting and he hugged and whispered “You’re gonna have a boy.”   “I know,”  I responded.  He’d had the same impression. It was an experience I will never forget, and in my subsequent pregnancies I have just tried to be in tune with that inner voice.

My mom had an equal number of boys and girls, so I think I kind of assumed I would, too. But the scales tipped in favor of the boys. After Boston, I was five of seven! With Victoria, I evened out the scales a bit with three girls and five boys.

So as I got closer to the time for my ultrasound, I was partly hoping for a girl to even things out even more.  And because girls are so girly and fun and adorable!

But I also found myself partly hoping for a boy. For one thing, Boston needs a brother who is closer to his age. He is seven years younger than his next brother, Tavish. And among our nine children who are in the “ages 12 and under” group, Boston is the only boy.

The feeling it was a boy was winning out as I went for my first ultrasound at 14 weeks. The technician told me it was earlier than usual to find out the gender, but she was pretty sure it looks like a girl. I wasn’t sure what to believe given how strongly I had been feeling “boy.”

Joe thought I was disappointed by the news because I was hoping for a boy. That wasn’t it. Well, it was partly it. I was hoping for both!  I wanted twins, a boy and a girl. But that is not what I am having.

I still didn’t want to buy any baby items until I knew with more certainty. I had other mothers tell me that the ultrasound seemed to say girl, and they would get prepared for that and then get a surprise at the time of birth! It has even happened the other way around with my niece. So I found myself waiting…again. At 18 1/2 weeks, I had another ultrasound.

This time it still showed girl! So I’m going with it!  Tori is getting a little sister!

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20 Responses to The Ultrasound

  1. Amy Manning says:

    Oh my goodness…So exciting! Congrats Darger family!

  2. Lydia says:

    Congratulations! I hope the rest of your pregnancy sails by smoothly.

    Have fun picking out her name. :)

  3. Anna says:

    Congratulations! What a blessing for your entire family. This child will be surrounded by many to love her.

  4. Alison says:

    I had a very similar experience with my first and only child Zeke. Being the only girl out of four siblings in my family, when I found out I was pregnant….I was so sure I was having a girl. I went out and bought all little girl clothes, pink cowgirl baby booties, and everything pink I could find. The night before my doctors appointment I had a dream where I was standing before God and He told me I was having a boy. I was shocked and at my doctors appointment the next day, they couldn’t hear a heartbeat on the doppler so they sent me down the hall for a ultrasound. I was telling the ultrasound technician about my dream and once she verified that there was a heartbeat, she told me that it was really too soon to be able to tell the sex of my baby, but that she would take a look. I was rambling telling her about all the adorable girl clothes I had bought when all of the sudden she asked “are they returnable”, that went right over my head, but my husband started laughing. I was very disapointed and I am embarassed to admit cried. Ibreturned all the adorable girl clothes begrudgingly for blue boy clothes and spent the resr of my pregnancy a little sad and mad. People kept telling me that once he was born it wouldn’t matter to me anymore, but I could not believe that. However, once my son was born, I loved him like I have loved nothing else. He is the light of my life, he is the sweetest human God put on this planet. He is so good natured and has the buggest heart, we share such an amazing bond, I couldn’t imagine my life without him, or my lufe with a little girl instead of him. It just goes to show God knows what He is doung and just because we don’t always understand His reasoning doesn’t mean it’s not whats best for us. I sing a song to my son every night which has the line, ” God pucked you out from all the rest, cause He knew that I’d love you the very best”, how true that is!

  5. Amber says:

    Hello. I’m interested in following your blog. Do you offer an option to subscribe for new posts to be delivered via email. Thanks for consideration of my inquiry. amber

  6. JanetH says:

    congratulations to the entire family! girl or boy it’s a JOY! I know what you mean by the yard sales-I’ve seen some awesome ones here in Indiana & both my friend & her younger sister were pregnant but gender unknown. Now we find out a girl for Thanksgiving & a boy before Christmas. Wish I”d had the $$$ to just splurge & had bought everything cute! Maybe see if some of the younger kids go with you so they ‘pick out’ a special outfit from them-then when baby is born take a pic of which sibling in the outfit they picked…oh & my 2cent worth of baby names suggestions are: Carys (welsh for love?) Eden, Georgia, Jacia, Lacey, Mina, Tess, Vanessa…

  7. JanetH says:

    ugh sorry didn’t mean to post Vanessa just it’s my cousins’ name & it was on my mind-1 Vanessa already an original girl so don’t need a nother… :)

  8. Johnnomads says:

    Having a new baby is an exciting time, we loved having our children so many yrs ago (between 4 wives), now we enjoy the 10 grandchildren.

  9. Melly Queen says:

    How wonderful!!! <3 Congratulations. :)

  10. Kari Kirkland says:

    I am SO EXCITED for this baby to come along! We need some CUTE BABY BUMP pictures …. purdy please

  11. Leilani says:

    Congratulations! So exciting!

  12. Judith LaBonte says:

    congratulations –
    j/L “Granny” Matrika / Rolling Buffalo Woman

  13. Melinda says:

    Congratulations on expecting another baby girl!! I know how it is to be told your having one gender and be surprised at birth with another. That happened to me with my 3rd daughter. I was told she was a boy. I was so excited to be getting a son. Having two girls I was so ready for some baby blue.. Well I got more pink and I couldn’t of been happier with My little Megan. She’s so funny and happy. I wouldn’t change her into a boy for anything!

  14. Lacy says:

    Oh wow! Congrads on the baby girl! I’m due to have my third boy any time this month (well he is due on Halloween, but you know how due dates can be). I really want to have a girl some day, and hopefully will get my wish. I’m not worried if I don’t get to carry her though, as I pray God will send us a sister wife and I can always love her children just as much as the ones I gave birth too. :D So happy for your ever growing family, you guys really are a wonderful and amazing plural family showing others that you are simply normal religious people who care and love for one another. God bless you and yours and keep up the good faith. Your all so brave!

  15. Carol says:

    Congratulations Vicki! Girls are awesome :)

    I was wondering what is your (and your sisterwives) naming process? Do you ask for their opinion or you involve your other children? I think all the family children names are really pretty; I like classical and biblical names (like Caleb, Laura or Jedediah). As for the middle name, are you more daring like with Victoria Berlynn’s?

    Once again, congrats and all the best for the Dargers!

  16. Judith LaBonte says:

    re – buying baby things – you could always go for pastel greens and yellows maybe? And of course white! just a thought. my late mom-in-law, may she rest in peace, used to subsidize her income by crocheting beautiful baby sets and all her children and their spouses bought from her because we knew NOBODY whose baby shower we were attending would have one exactly like any she made! Not being able to have kids, well, i always enjoyed doing something for those who could. j/L “Granny” Matrika / Rolling Buffalo Woman

  17. Michele says:

    Congrats on the Baby Girl !! I am so happy for your whole family. I make crochet hats for babies for friends. I would love to send you one along with a pair of little gloves let me know if you have a shipping address. Blessings to you and yours :)

  18. Al says:

    Omg so cool!! I hope you find out soon. Though get prepared ahead of time!!
    Good luck

  19. Al says:

    Good luck!!

  20. Sylvia Gwilliam says:

    The bible states though shalt not commit adultery. I am never impressed with polygamy relationships. My life is about my bible beliefs. Each to their own but just remember everyone answers to God sooner or later.

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